Doorways + Disruption: On Saturn Returns and Sacred Transitions
What happens when life asks you to shed everything that no longer serves your becoming
Dear ones, this post contains some difficult topics. Please protect and look after yourself.
Last week, I dropped into my wisdom circle - that beautiful group of people I met at a Baja retreat in 2019 who've become my chosen family. We gather regularly to share what's alive in us, what we're holding, what needs to be witnessed.
As I settled into that safe space where I'm loved for the entirety of who I am, something profound happened. I began to speak what I haven’t said out loud.
The grief I'm carrying for an extraordinary friend beginning her end-of-life journey after years of battling cancer.
The unexpected loss of my beloved yoga teacher's weekday classes as his business evolves, these live Zoom classes have been at the core of my practice and an important part of how I ground myself.
The weight of witnessing so much pain in our world, coupled with a deep knowing that dismantling always precedes transformation.
And then there's the anticipatory grief that sits with me daily - watching my parents age, knowing that while they likely have many years ahead, the future loss already lives in my bones.
All of this, while tending to my children, my partner, my work, myself. The beautiful, exhausting fullness of a life fully lived.
When I finished sharing, my friend looked at me with those knowing eyes and said simply, "That's a lot."
Yes. It is.
But here's what I know: I'm not alone in this holding. We're all carrying so much.
That same day, a dear friend shared something that made everything click. She's been diving deep into astrology (something I dabble in but honestly find delightfully confusing - apparently I have a stellium in my chart, which sounds impressive until you realize I had to Google what that meant), and at 58 - the same age as me - she's taking a course on Saturn returns. Specifically, our second one.
In astrology, this second Saturn return happens between 56 and 60. It's a period of profound reflection and potential life changes, similar to that first Saturn return in our late twenties. But this time, it's about stepping into mentorship, wisdom-sharing, and a complete reevaluation of what matters.
And suddenly, it all made sense.
Of course. I'm at an age, stage, and astrological moment of transformation. I'm standing at the threshold of something new - something bolder, braver, and more meaningful than anything I've experienced before.
I can feel it coming.
With it will come the ability to share my wisdom more generously, to create deeper impact in my community and beyond. A laser focus on love, joy, and genuine fulfillment. The chance to befriend grief and loss rather than resist them. Richer relationships with everyone I love. And yes, the opportunity to let go of what no longer serves.
But here's the truth about walking through new doorways: it's never comfortable. It requires time, attention, energy, and a fierce commitment to embracing the journey.
The most comforting part about it is that we are never alone.
A Few Hard-Earned Tips for Riding the Saturn Return Wave:
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. This isn't a phase to rush through - it's a masterclass in becoming who you're meant to be. Stock up on tissues and good wine accordingly.
Trust your inner knowing. That nagging feeling that something needs to change? She's not being dramatic - she's being accurate. Listen to her.
Find your wisdom circle. Whether it's three friends or thirty, you need people who can hold space for your truth without trying to fix it. (Bonus points if they can say "that's a lot" with perfect comedic timing.)
Look for the lessons. Every upheaval carries wisdom - sometimes it's whispered, sometimes it's shouted. Ask yourself: What is this trying to teach me? What wants to emerge? The answers might surprise you.
Embrace the shedding. Some relationships, habits, and old versions of yourself are ready to go. Let them. Perhaps Marie Kondo was onto something - just apply it to your entire existence.
Document the journey. Write it down, voice memo it, paint it, dance it. This transformation deserves to be witnessed, especially by future you.
For those of you in your second Saturn return, or simply navigating your own season of loss, transition, or transformation - how is it going for you? Can you feel the shift coming?
Because sometimes, acknowledging that we're in the doorway is the first step toward walking through it with intention.
