The Messy Truth About Gratitude

Next week, we gather for Thanksgiving.

For most of us, it's non-negotiable – the kind of holiday where presence isn't optional. We show up. We pass the plates. We reach for gratitude like it's something we can serve alongside the turkey.

And I love it. Truly. Being with my family feeds something essential in me – they are my heart and soul.

But here's what's also true: I'm exhausted.

This year, I've found myself in a season of compression. Too many commitments stacked too close together. Too many plates spinning. Too much noise.

The next six weeks stretch ahead like a marathon I'm already running: leading my team at InspireCorps through a finish-the-year-strong push in what's been a turbulent organizational development landscape. Our clients need us to be steady partners in unstable times, and I'm committed to showing up for that.

I'm also finalizing my first retreat in Costa Rica – a January escape I've dreamed into existence because I know I'm not the only one who feels overextended and starved for space. The irony isn't lost on me: I'm exhausted while creating a haven for other exhausted women. But that's exactly why it matters. We need permission to step away, quiet the noise, and remember what's possible when we're not running on fumes.

And I'm planning a wedding.

Yes, a wedding. Andy proposed over Labor Day weekend, and on December 6th, we're getting married! We didn't plan on moving this fast, but when you have four parents between ages 85 and 94 – all in good health, all still here – you don't wait for someday. You choose today.

Add my coaching clients, my parents, my sons, my friends, the causes I care about, and a world that feels increasingly unstable and uncomfortable... and well, it's a lot.

Even for someone with my capacity to hold things, it's a lot.

My introverted self is craving space. Quiet. Rest that goes deeper than sleep.

And yet.

When I pause long enough to actually feel my life – not just manage it – I'm overwhelmed by how abundant it is. How lucky. How full of living and loving.

This is the paradox I'm sitting with as Thanksgiving approaches.

Maybe gratitude doesn't have to be simple. Maybe it's time we stopped treating it like a checklist item and started letting it be as complex as we are.

Your gratitude can hold exhaustion and joy at the same time.
It can hold your desperate need for less while honoring the abundance you've created.
It can acknowledge that you're tired of people while being profoundly grateful for the people you love.

Gratitude isn't about toxic positivity or pretending everything is perfect. It's about having the courage to hold the whole truth – the messy, complicated, beautiful reality of being fully alive.

When I find those rare moments of quiet reflection, here's what rises to the surface:

Freedom – To be who I am in this world, unapologetically. It's what we all want, and I'll protect it fiercely.

Health – Not something I take for granted, but something I work for with rigor. My mind, body, and spirit get my attention before anything else gets my calendar.

Love – I invest ridiculous amounts of time, energy, and resources into nurturing it. With friends, family, colleagues, clients, and soon, my husband. Love isn't a luxury. It's oxygen.

Possibility – Even when I can't see what's next, I trust it's there. The best things often are – waiting just beyond what we can currently imagine.

The goodness in humanity – In a time of division and noise, I still believe in the human spirit. I've seen too much good to ever stop believing in more.

So as we move into Thanksgiving week, I'm curious:

What does modern gratitude look like for you? What paradoxes are you holding? What's the messy truth underneath your "I'm thankful for" list?

Because maybe the most honest gratitude isn't found in what we think we're supposed to say. Maybe it's found in what we finally give ourselves permission to feel.